#the hermit and the seed3
All Gabriel's words echoed in him. Jean knew he could not go back. All the trials that would stand before him, he would suffer without fear. He was sure that he would not fall into the traps that would come before him.
One of these traps was the following. Return to the world of men, that of irrational consciousness, and primitive instinct. He had to review all the conventions established by men. Confront them with the laws of nature and determine a plan that would lead him to the top of the mountain. To question everything was perhaps not the path of wisdom, but it was the only solution he had imagined not to get lost in the labyrinth of preconceived ideas.
He realized that following this path reminded him of elements of his past life. He did not know yet, that he could also remember what his future life would be. All this would be important, but nothing tangible could be envisaged ...
In the light of his consciousness where everything could be found, he felt only the power of darkness. Rational explanations could not give an image of a world that does not have a material relationship with ours.
There were days left to meditate on this world he was looking for. He scanned the darkness. His mind, hoping to catch a glimpse of it, would let him know he is on the right path.
One day, this little light appeared. She was like three doors that were on the way. Three doors, and one that was to open on the rest of the trip. Once again, he was faced with a choice. Which one to choose, which led to the goal?
He realized that a trap had to be behind each of these three doors. These traps were all identical. Know before the events have occurred. Birth of doubt that can bring this situation. It was all the essence of this trap that would prevent him from moving forward. So he decided that only chance could serve him. He relied on him.
He did not care what he would find behind the door. He had to cross it at all costs. The strength that seemed to support him assured him the support of the One who knows. Nothing else mattered. He closed his eyes, concentrated all the strength that was in him. She resisted, did not want to be subdued by such a weak being. But Jean's stubbornness was the strongest. He managed to master the force without feeling any change in his ability to define things. So he could walk towards the doorway in the middle of the other two.
Before he could touch her, she opened herself. Another magic of this irrational world. Behind, a kind of labyrinth extended as far as the eye could see. The darkness lay like a leaden screed, not allowing a clear distinction between the path leading to the exit. Special test for Jean subject to claustrophobia. He moved back. Not that ! He thought. But no, he had not come here to give up. He had to go over his fears.
He stepped forward, as he advanced, he felt his speed of movement increased. He looked at his feet but they did not touch the ground anymore. Something had taken control of his movements. This thing made him travel in a corridor with a thousand arabesques, that he could not know where he came from. Nothing in this place could stop the movement. The darkness of darkness made this ordeal unbearable. No landmarks ... Everything was done so that the light loses its energy by ricocheting on the walls of the labyrinth.
Jean did not know he had lost his physical appearance. The speed had been so great that only the strength he had managed to contain served him as a shield. Only his mind could travel so fast. There was no solution to stop this hellish ride, he felt lost when in the distance appeared a purplish aura ... Immediately she disappeared, and with it nothing more existed neither strength nor the to be of flesh called Jean ...
None of this had really happened, only a dante vision, which, terrifying as it was, could only leave Jean in a state of total stupefaction. It only remained for him to rely on Gabriel. He alone could help him understand ...
Gabriel was waiting for him. He was sitting on the tree trunk on the side of his hut. He pretended not to wait for him ...
"Gabriel, that's not possible. I can not get on this road. I miss some knowledge. You must know what to do ..."
Gabriel turned his face away from the place of his contemplation.
"Here, my young friend, have not you gone?"
"You know it well ! You let me believe that I could succeed in this feat. This vision that I had you must have seen too."
Gabriel was closing in on himself. What could he answer?
"Only the law of free will shows you the way. I can not help you. I told you, in you are the knowledge to escape you unscathed. You just have to remember my words ..."
Gabriel wanted Jean to take charge. He knew that the search for the truth could not be done on the teachings of a man, even if he had a great knowledge to share.
Jean told him his vision. He wanted to know what the three doors represented, as well as the meaning of this labyrinth lost in the darkness. Gabriel replied that it was no longer his business. Jean was to be the only one to decipher this riddle. He trusted her and that was enough for the moment.
Jean felt that once again he was alone in the face of adversity. He thought that with Gabriel, he had found a precious help that would support him in difficult times. It was not so. No help would come from anyone? Would he remain forever alone in this world, to walk his way? He seemed to have resigned himself to it. The One Who Knows must have his reasons for this to be so. Something should not be changed, on pain of seeing distorting all this clockwork mechanism that has been functioning since eternity.
It took him all winter to understand all the subtleties of seeking the way. All these days to leave his fear of the unknown in the locker room and feel ready to cross one of the three doors.
One morning he went to see Gabriel. He had made his decision. He knew maybe they would not see each other again for a long time. The journey he was about to undertake was perilous enough to cost him his life. But, as if to reassure Gabriel, he told him that he had great confidence in this force, which no longer seemed to leave him.
The old man was very moved. He would have liked to teach him more of what he knew. But as Jean was determined to leave, so was the desire of the One who knows. Now, nothing and no one could block him the path that would lead him to his destiny.
Gabriel gave him some last recommendations to make his trip as good as possible. Advice from a father to his son. They kissed as if they would meet again in many years.
Jean went back to his hut. He did not look back. He did not want his last vision to be that of a sad-faced old man. If he had done so, he would have seen him give him a friendly wave of the hand, as well as the joy that was on his face.
Arrived in his hut, Jean lay on his bench. He closed his eyes and concentrated. It was necessary that all the strength be in him. He fell asleep, for what he thought was a long night, because the way he had to go the next day would certainly be very tiring.
When sleep had completely covered him with his mainsheet, Jean found himself in front of the three doors. He still remembered this dantesque vision of the labyrinth behind the middle one. He felt that he still hesitated before this terrible choice. He was afraid of being wrong. He was afraid of losing the thread that led him down the path ... He emptied his mind. His choice was still on the middle door ...
He had felt that the three doors, both at the extremes, were an apology for excesses. He had to reach a center ... Choosing the center was choosing balance. Do not choose what could be all good, or all bad ...
The door opened. He did not see any light, but the corridor was there. He was wider than in his vision. At the bottom of it he could see a staircase. One side went up, and the other went down. Another choice he could not have foreseen. He did not let himself be disarmed by this new enigma. He went ahead. We had to find the solution. The presence of this staircase had to have a symbolic reason. He would find it. He would understand the meaning of all this.
"Courage Jean, you'll get away, he thought."
He remembered what Gabriel had said to him:
"Throughout your search, you will walk on a narrow ramp above a bottomless chasm. One mistake on your part, and you will go back to square one. This until you are strong enough to climb the ladder of the event."
He did not know what to think of that sentence. Should he go up or down the stairs? Perhaps here too the mysteries of an infernal trap were hidden. He had to be very vigilant. All this looked like a demonic plan. That He who knows may have invented all these things must show that He must be either of great debility, or show the expression of exacerbated sadism. What could be His pleasure in seeing poor wretches sink into the quicksand of His quest? No, it would have been too easy for him to be easily found. The game of the Gods of Olympus was still in force. Those who were in the party had to leave feathers. The price to pay to win the jackpot ...
Jean took his time. The important thing was not to go back. The path he had traveled on the narrow ramp of knowledge, he did not want to do it backwards. Every step he took could have dragged him down the precipice. He was still in balance but for how much longer? Nobody is crazy enough to want to fuck in the air more than usual. He was already well on the edge of the razor not to commit the irreparable. Up or down?
Temptation. Cursed form of human thought. She was always present, waiting for the spirit to be caught in its nets. To make fall. Losing the path to the goal Temptation.
Jean was very vigilant. He could have gone down the stairs and left all the questions there. He could have climbed but the ascent would have been difficult. Falling then would have caused his loss. Always this feeling of not choosing the extremes. What he decided. He was moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, expecting to feel the beginnings of a trap door under his feet. But nothing.
He arrived at the foot of the strange staircase. He had stopped venturing to the center when there was no way out. Suddenly, a complete darkness enveloped the place. There was nothing to see or hear. He had just lost consciousness.
When he returned to him, it was to see that he was in his hut. The departure he had hoped for had not occurred. What he had tried was not the right solution.
Gabriel was on the doorstep. He watched Jean wake up.
"So ? "
Jean jumped. What was Gabriel doing there?
"So, nothing ... Only another riddle more, and without solution. A staircase this time. However, I went to the center, but everything evaporated. I do not understand... "
"You want to put the cart before the horse. That's what you need to understand. What you saw is of paramount importance for the future. Time is what you need, you have to wait again. You are not yet ready even if the strength in you makes you believe the opposite."
Jean thought that Gabriel knew what he had to do. He knew but did not want him to know. He did not understand why he let it simmer so. He was fuming inside and was trying to bring out his anger. Gabriel should run and tell him what he wanted to know ...
Could not he see that he desperately needed his help? Jean was convinced that the old man knew more than he had told him. Should he be a kind of magician with subtle powers? He wanted to be his share. He wanted to know those powers that make it possible to take possession of things. He treated Gabriel of all the names of birds. All the ruses passed by. Gabriel did not flinch. Last spade, Jean told him that he would give up everything if he could not get an answer ...
Gabriel listened, impassive. Then, unable to restrain himself, and seeing that Jean's anger was at its height, he burst out laughing. Like never before, he was writhing with laughter. Jean had suddenly become dumb. He did not understand his reaction. What to think of a man who, being insulted, laughs out loud? Gabriel was folded in half. Even his cane was on the ground unable to support the weight of his hilarity.
Gabriel managed to pull himself together. His student's reaction was normal. Was it not the sign of the virulence of youth? The youth, the time of the crazy years, where time passes and where nothing is better than the present lived, without worrying about the memory of things. He too had been a young wolf. He saw no further than the second that followed. He bit his life to the fullest, without worrying about what life might be like. Just another hint of laughter on the edge of the face. He was trying to catch his breath. Jean held him in his arms. Young cane for the old man with a green spirit. Gabriel stared him straight in the eyes and said:
"You are a well. Take a bucket, draw the fresh water and drink all your drunk. If the water is healthy, you will be full of wisdom. If it is infested, then will you be gnawed by doubt and remorse."
He kept his enigmatic smile on the corner of his lips, as if to make Jean understand that he still had it in his power, and continued:
"Go now! Return to your occupations and meditate on all this."
Jean returned to his hut. He was ruminating. He sat in front of the fireplace and watched the dancing flames. He did not move the day. In the evening, Gabriel came to join him. He wanted to know where he was. Jean's face was closed. His soul was extinguished to anger. He seemed to be mesmerizing with the flames dancing in the air. Silence...
"Maybe, said Gabriel, maybe now you'll be able to continue your journey. You have crossed the three doors. You are on the way.
Remember my words; they are sure and truthful. I hold them from my master. Tell yourself that you are lucky, because what you will append will be greater than what I learned from my master. My way ends with you. And you, you go to this adventure that we all wanted to live. Wherever you go, I will always be present in you. Tomorrow, you will resume your journey, and we will not see each other for a time. You will meet other people who like me will help you climb the steep slope of the mountain of knowledge. Perhaps you will not arrive at the goal you think you are reaching. Hope of youth. But you can also share your knowledge of things with another elected. Only The One Who Knows knows your destiny. Trust His decisions, and above all, do not seek to derogate from them. In any case, you will not succeed!"
Jean had not turned his head. Gabriel's words could not warm his heart. He who for so long was left alone, he understood that this loneliness would be his lot until the end. Once again, he would lose a friend, a father. The further he advanced, the more he felt the weight of a terrible destiny. Always losing those we love is not this a tragedy?
He knew he would have to live with it. Everything that had happened after the first appearance was like a long-established plan. It was part of this plan designed by another. He did not know why, but he would fight for the memory of those he had loved. For that, whatever it cost him, he would pursue the way. He would not disappoint the memory of his predecessors.
The day of departure arrived. He talked with Gabriel for a long time. Nothing could hold him back. Despite the unknown in front of him, he put his fear aside. He would see what would happen. He would always remember that man who had welcomed him at the beginning of winter, and who let him go to other countries, when spring was hatching the first buds. A brief summary of this period to see that the force born in him had continued to grow. He was no longer the man who once had his head on his shoulders, his eyes straight in front of him, only managed to see the ground that carried his feet. After Gabriel, things were different. He had become a man who could look around him, his eyes turned to the sky. There was to be the home of the one who knows, the mythical city at the top of the mountain of heaven. There was the ultimate goal to achieve. He knew that despite his loneliness, he would have in him the spirit of Gabriel who would guide him through the worlds. Together, they would knock on the doors, and they would open.
The hour was to the farewells. Farewell, in french, seemeds to say "At God", this word exceeded their thought ...
The world was reborn and the greenery sprang up from the few patches of snow that made resistance. Everything was waking up. Renewal of the mystery of genesis. Plants, trees, animals, even rocks, they all glorified the coming of this new cycle. Jean was like this emerging world. The seed that was in him had to grown as to became bud. He would climb to the light and become the fruit he had to be ...